"Lah-di-dah" (Momus plays Jake Thackray)

Now we're agreed that we're in love
We'll have to face the lah-di-dah,
The eyewash, all of the fancy pantomime.
(I love you very much.)
I'll try love, I'll bill and coo
With your gruesome Auntie Susan
I'll stay calm, I'll play it cool;
I won´t let your tetchy uncles
Get me back up, cross my heart.
And I shan't get shirty when they say I look peculiar.

I'll be nice to your mother,
I'll come all over lah-di-dah,
Although she always gets up me nose.
(I love you very much.)
And so I'll smile and I'll acquiesce
When she invites me to caress
Her scabby cat;
I'll sit still while she knits
And witters, cross my heart,
And I shan't lay a finger on the crabby old batface.

I'll be polite to your daddy,
Frightfully lah-di-dah,
Although he always bores me to my boots.
(I love you very much.)
And so I won't boo and hiss
When he starts to reminisce
I won't drop off, I won't flare up;
The runs he used to score
And how he won the war, cross my heart,
But I'll have to grit me teeth when he goes on about his rupture.

I'll behave at the wedding breakfast
I'll be lah-di-dah
So help me! Hearty toasts and risky jokes!
(I love you very much.)
So help me, I'll force a laugh
For the flicking photographs
So have no fear, I won't turn tail;
I won't run amuck when the females chuck
Confetti in my ears
And cross me heart, love, I'll keep off the pale ale.

When we're off on our own
No more lah-di-bloody-dah
I promise, we just won't have the time
We won't have time for such,
Such fancy pantomimes.
(I'll love you far too much.)